How do you react when other women flirt with your man?
For my new followers, I’m in a long distance relationship with my husband. I live here in the Philippines while my husband lives in Canada. We dated online for a year and we’ve been married for 6 months now. We’ve been in a long distance relationship since Day 1 and continued it after we got married. We’re working on my visa now so we can finally be together.
The very first thing we agreed when we started dating was to be honest with each other. We remained committed to that agreement and it even got stronger when we got married. I’m always honest with my husband when someone asks me out. When I was still single, when someone asks me out, I blatantly say “I can’t” because I’m already in a relationship. Some of these guys told me that my boyfriend doesn’t have to know if I go out with them. How can these guys assume that I would go out with them without my husband’s knowledge? I find it disrespectful and low. I feel sorry for women who will end up with these type of men. Clearly, these type of men have the 99% tendency to cheat in their relationships.
There was this instance that my husband’s friend added me on FB. This guy was his usual acquaintance and I couldn’t believe that he told lies about my husband and tried to hit on me. I talked to my husband and told him about what his friend was doing. I even questioned him why he hangs out with this kind of person. We both agreed that we’re going to block him on FB and that he would stop hanging out with this guy. It was crazy.
Likewise my husband tells me when women express interest in him. I can still remember when an ex-girlfriend of his kept on asking him to go back to her when obviously and publicly she knew my husband is in a relationship with me already. My husband told her nicely that he is happy with me and wished her happiness too. My husband is a nice person and sometimes other women misinterpret his kindness to being interested in them. Just a month ago, two women expressed interest in him. I was even surprised that one of them knew he was already married and she didn’t care. She kept on messaging my husband even if he was constantly ignoring her messages until later on she gave up. While the other woman asked him out and my husband said he doesn’t hang out with other women alone in respect of me.
My husband joked that he should place his hand on his chin while talking to women so they would instantly notice the wedding ring and see that he’s already married! I told my husband “You’re too nice that you’re sending the wrong signal to these women. You wouldn’t want me to be too nice to other men that I send the wrong signal.” And he thought, he wouldn’t like that. We talked about how to avoid giving wrong signals and agreed that when talking to other people who express interest in us, we will mention “my wife” and “my husband” phrases in the conversation. But the problem is, these women already knew my husband is married and yet still want him!
We agreed we wouldn’t go out with the opposite sex alone except for some instances when it’s really needed and that we both agreed on it. When we got married, we are already intertwined with each other. Whatever my husband does reflects and affects me and likewise, whatever I do reflects and affects my husband. In a small town in Nova Scotia where my husband lives, news spreads easily and people love to gossip. We are not going to give other people reason to talk unpleasant things about us.
We trust each other but we also believe that we should not place ourselves in a situation that could lead to temptation. We agreed on these things and we’re happy about it. I know this is not applicable to other couples because everyone is different. For me, the most important thing is that you both agree on it, you’re both happy, and it works for the both of you.
My husband and I always put ourselves in each other’s shoes when we try to come up with an agreement. In this way, we understand each other’s point of view. I appreciate how cooperative, understanding, and committed my husband is in our marriage and that’s what I’m always thankful for. Although we both live on opposite sides of the world, he never gave me the reason to doubt or feel insecure and I do the same. I give the credit to my husband because I learn to be more kind and understanding because it’s who he is and it’s very contagious.
So how would you react when someone flirts with your man?
I say, try to be calm and start a healthy conversation. Try to reach an agreement on how to handle this kind of situation and as much as possible drop judgement and assumptions. To deal with it is worth it, after all, you’re going to spend your lifetime together.
How about you? What do you do when someone flirts with your man?